How are we going to save the world?
- Everyone gets an A in all courses they're taking this semester. Higher GPAs lead to stronger immunity.
- “Virtual distance learning” means we don't need the institute’s $800 'Books & Supplies' fee. We’ll refund this fee so students can use it to take a vacation to virus-free Antarctica.
- Charge The Weather Company a $1 "wetness royalty" for every single raindrop that falls on campus each spring (estimated $3 Billion).
And with this money we will...
- Send Corona Care Packages™ with masks and gloves to every student.
- Fund the brilliant minds at Stamps Health Services to find a vaccine.
- Wipe all school databases so MBA Will's data can't be breached again.
- Convert the Reck into an electric car (eco-friendly!).